An Original Rambling: Unlucky!

originally posted on Jan 31, 2001 on my old goofiness.com website:

My daughter was in soccer a couple of years ago. Megan is a wonderful person. She hardly watches TV, preferring a good book instead. She calls the country radio station every morning to give her opinion on whatever they are talking about. She's cute, smart, likeable and good at a great many things. Soccer isn't one of them.

Her soccer coach, whenever a team member did something poorly, would yell "Unlucky!" If a kick on goal was sent fifteen feet wide of the goal, it was "unlucky shot!" If a poor pass was intercepted it was "unlucky pass!" Somehow, everything they did was up to the Gods of Luck, Soccer Division.

Well, it wasn't so unlucky. Megan spent a grand total of 8 hours of her life practicing soccer. All of it was at the official YMCA soccer practices in which she was participating. Megan liked soccer enough to play, but it wasn't her life.

Other girls in the league were obviously very good. They probably spent many hours outside of the league practicing, honing their skills, playing, dribbling, passing, shooting. While Megan was reading or listening to the radio, they were playing soccer. That's perfectly acceptable, some people love reading, some love soccer. But it doesn't make Megan unlucky. Because she failed to score a goal, or successfully execute a pass, it doesn't mean she is a failure. Failing at something does not make you a failure.

But failure was the soccer coach's lesson. She was teaching Megan that if you fail, attribute it to bad luck. It's bad to fail. If you can't do it right, blame it on something else. Does that make the other girls lucky for making a goal? Doesn't that cheapen the fact that they have spent hundreds of hours of their young life doing something they love? If they are nothing more than lucky, maybe they should have been watching TV instead of practicing soccer.

Is there any wonder that a great many kids have trouble accepting failure? Is it mysterious that many can't handle responsibility? If they aren't even responsible for a kick sailing wide right of a soccer goal, how can they be trusted with a car? "Gee, son, that was an unlucky wreck, you just cost a family of seven their lives."

Someday Megan will find a job, perform in a piano recital or play professional soccer. Along the way, she's going to fail, and she needs to learn that it's okay to fail. Get up, dust yourself off, try it again. That's the difference between failing and failure.