Frustrated!

I just got a call from a friend.  He woke up on a Monday morning, things were going well, then he tried to move a sprinkler before he left for work, had trouble, and got all frustrated.

He called me to vent a little, but also to be talked down from his frustration.  He did all the right things, put it in perspective (I'm frustrated because I'm getting my suit all dirty and people are starving and homeless...), and was reaching out to a friend.  He felt bad about being frustrated.

But, he's human, and so am I, and so are you.  No matter where we are at -- successful businessman, a doctor, a blue-collar worker, a political leader, a homeless person -- no matter where, we should allow ourselves to be frustrated once-in-awhile.

Think of it this way: frustration is simply unmet expectation(s).  When I disc golf, there are certain people I expect to beat, a certain score I expect to attain, a certain shot I'm able to perform.  When I don't, I get frustrated.  Letting frustration get the best of me makes it worse, and I get more frustrated.  If I leave it at "frustration" but let go, I can play well, look back and say "man, I rebounded great after those first frustrating holes!"

We can all be frustrated.  If you make a million dollars a year, your expectations are different from someone who hopes to make a hundred dollars this week.   Your expectations MUST be different, it's just the way it is.  Even two millionaires will have different expectations, based on the situation.  Just because your situation is less stressful or more fun than, in general, the next person's doesn't mean that you can't be frustrated.  Put in this perspective, and it's easier to see why some of these sports stars can get frustrated when most of us say "I'd kill for his life."  Their expectations are adjusted for their level of success, and when they don't meet the expectations they've set of themselves, they get frustrated, just like you and me.  Believe me, if I made even one shot in an NBA game, it would be an amazing success.  But if Kobe Bryant made only 1 bucket in his next game he'd be on a rampage.  Remember, there is always someone worse off than you, and they are looking at you and saying "I'd kill for your life, quit acting like a boob" when you get frustrated.

One of the things I dislike the most is when someone gets frustrated and someone else scoffs and tells them to get over it. I've never met a human that doesn't get frustrated.  Some people can act that way too often, and in those cases I just stop hanging around that person.  But, we all get frustrated once in awhile.  Kick something, scream, throw a fit; we all do it if there is any emotion at all.  We also celebrate, pump our fists, slap hi5's and hug people.  If someone you know is frustrated, give them some room.  Don't try to talk them out of it unless "frustration" is a lifestyle for them.  If frustration is their lifestyle, they haven't met the expectations for their life and they are mad about it constantly.  You might have a chat with them then.   Being in touch with Jesus and the Holy Spirit is a HUGE help for unmet life expectations, believe me.

Frustration is just unmet expectation.  A millionaire expects to make a lot of money every day and if she made $100 today would be frustrated, while a lot of the rest of us might have cause for celebration. Next time you are frustrated, just ask yourself, "what was I expecting?"  If the expectation is unrealistic adjust for it and realize what it should be or should have been.  Change your expectation to be a little higher than what is reasonable.  Stretch for it, but don't put it out of reach.  For me, perhaps I expect to shoot -8 at an easy course, but I'm more likely to shoot -1 or +1.  If I adjust my goal to -2 and hit par for the day, I'm not going to be frustrated.  If I shoot for -8 and take tons of chances because I'm just not that good, then I'm probably going to play +5 or something, but even if I still play at par for the day, I will be frustrated.

Or, in my life, maybe I expected to be making more money by now, or to have a job I liked, or to be married, or to be happier in my marriage.  If those are your expectations, be frustrated.  The frustration will focus you.  What are your expectations?   Put them just high enough you have to stretch for them.   When you reach them, put them a little higher.  When you look back when you are older, you'll find you've met them, surpassed them and are thankful for the frustration you had when you hadn't met expectations.  After all, if you are never frustrated, it means you probably never expected much.